I was invited to an old-fashioned girls’ slumber party (not the sex toy kind)- just three girls, but we are all looking forward to it. After checking our calendars, we realized we couldn’t have the slumber party until early November - because that is how these things go when you are “adults”.

Anyway, it reminded me of my very first slumber party with my neighbor Kellie. I was about 4 years old and so excited to be sleeping away from home for a night. I had a really bad sleep walking problem though, which I didn’t fill her or her parents in on. In the middle of the night, I apparently sleepwalked into the living room and peed in the middle of the floor and then walked back and got in bed. I realized this in the morning when my jammies were all wet but the bed wasn’t. 

I went to go change into some non-wet clothes in the bathroom, when I saw Kellie’s parents whipping the dog for peeing in the living room. 

“It’s so weird. He never does this.”

To this day, I still never let them know that I was the Urine Bandit.