September 2011
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Perfect House, But...
perfecthousebut:
Would you live in a murder house? Meaning you find the perfect residence but someone has been murdered there. Would you?
Probably so. As long as all traces of murder have been cleaned and/or fixed.
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Anonymous asked: Hello, lady! It's your new buddy here. I hope you are ready for me to seriously enable your nailpolish habit, and maybe also live vicariously through your designs since I can't get away with nail art at my workplace. I'm excited for this next year!
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“Hell is two women in a bathroom, each waiting for the other to leave so they can...”
– becomingbrina (via vaginagarten)
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I need a dessert right now
Lacey: I found a bakery [near my house] that I was about to go to until I saw on their website that they are closed on Mondays
Eryn: fuckers
Lacey: about to go drive to it and throw a brick in their window with a note wrapped around it "FUCKING BE OPEN ON MONDAYS"
Never forget, ye, yellow-bellied sapsuckers! →
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Mis-takes!
Was just thinking about how funny it would be if someone went to Target today and accidentally bought all Mossimo instead of Missoni stuff.
Good luck selling all THAT on eBay!
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Slumber Party
I was invited to an old-fashioned girls’ slumber party (not the sex toy kind)- just three girls, but we are all looking forward to it. After checking our calendars, we realized we couldn’t have the slumber party until early November - because that is how these things go when you are “adults”.
Anyway, it reminded me of my very first slumber party with my neighbor Kellie. I...
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Take back my adult card
Lacey: Looks like you got a little of everything from the salad bar
Kevin: Yeah. I got cauliflower, hummus, carrots, cornbread, mushrooms...
Lacey: Did you get any seafood?
Kevin: I don't think they have any seafood at the...
Lacey: *opening mouth with food inside* SEE FOOD!
Kevin: You got me!
Lacey: Dating me never gets old, does it? It always stays young and immature.
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If I were a stuntwoman
behindthelevee:
Anytime there were two nincompoops blocking the stairs in Middleton [library] to have what must be the most important conversation ever, I’d throw myself down them and scream in agony,WHY DID YOU BLOCK THE HAND RAILS WHY OH WHY?!??”
…in which I fall ever so more in love with Michelle.
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